There is hope! Your marriage can be restored. It can be better than it was before. Even though the circumstances may look bleak, there is hope.

MajorRevival has posted a beautiful prayer for marriage restoration. The audio is a bit quiet, but what he has to say is worth turning up your speakers for. You’ll be blessed and renewed in spirit by this prayer for marriage restoration.

He shares key tips for marriage restoration. He’s right on target with these great tips.

• Get right with God.
• Decide to love your spouse regardless of what he or she has done.
• Don’t try to control your spouse.
• Pray daily for your spouse.
• Let your spouse be free.
• Repent of your sins.
• Do good for your spouse.
• Say good things to and about them.
• Give your spouse all the time he or she needs.
• Give your spouse completely to God.

God makes marriage. And He works through all things for the good of those who love Him. Trust in Him.

Every second, 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography.

Every 39 minutes, a new pornographic video is being created in the United States.

These statistics from Family Safe Media touch on the tip of the iceberg with the problem of pornography in our culture and in our marriages today. In fact, United Families International cites statistics that 40 million Americans regularly visit porn sites.

With porn taking a huge toll on marriages and families, more and more husbands and wives are finding themselves at the crossroads and trying to find out how to respond when those statistics aren’t just meaningless numbers. If you find pornography to be taking a toll on you, and you find that your family has been hit by this tremendous threat, there is hope.

In this audio, you’ll hear one woman’s story of hope and healing. Rose Colon of Pure Life Ministries found that not only is there hope and healing, but that through struggles with pornography in a marriage, a wife can grow in her relationship with God.

I encourage you to listen to this uplifting interview. In it, Mrs. Colon shares how she felt when she found out her husband was using pornography and prostitutes. And she shares how God helped heal her heart.

Why is marriage important?

In this video, John Piper talks about why marriage is important.

“Marriage is as Christ loved the church,” he says.

Marriage isn’t about us, Piper says. Instead, in marriage, we point to Christ and the church. Marriage is modeled on Christ and the church.

In fact, marriage is magnificent because it points to something magnificent.

Check out this video. Your marriage is important, and it’s beautiful, because it reflects something magnificent, and it reflects that magnificence to the world. This video is a good reminder of the sacredness of that union.

Do you wish you had a marriage crystal ball? Dr. John Gottman says, that because of his research, he can tell within five minutes of meeting a couple whether they will last.

In this radio interview, Dr. Gottman, who has studied marriages for more than a quarter century, answers questions from spouses wanting to improve their marriages.

Dr. Gottman is professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and heads the Gottman Relationship Institute and Relationship Research Institute. Gottman has written or co–written 40 books, including the bestseller “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.”

Being in marriage can be like that. It can be easy to see what seems to be in front of us, but almost impossible to see things that seem to be outside of the range of our vision.

An outsider to the marriage has a different perspective, and can see things from a different point of view.

And that’s the point of view of one former marriage and family therapist. Jeff Herring offers these tips for husbands and wives who want to see their marriage from a different perspective:

• It’s human nature to love someone in the way we want to be loved. The problem is that very rarely do two people with the same love language get together. How do you discover the love language of your partner? Ask. Here’s how: “In order to feel the most loved by me, do you need to see it from me, hear it from me, or feel it from me?”
• It’s human nature to want to be right. Some have raised the desire to be right to an art form. Still others have raised it to be a right, the “right to be right.” Whatever the case, many times in marriage you face a clear choice: you can be right, or you can be happy, but not both. Only the wisest of couples learn and practice this one.
• Prescription for a man to mess up his marriage: Get into porn. Pastor Andy Stanley says that “porn teaches men three things: The woman I am with is not enough, one woman is not enough, and a real woman is not enough.” He’s right.
• Prescription for a woman to mess up her marriage: Convince a man that no matter what he does it’s not good enough.
• Prescription for a great relationship: Create a vision for how you want your relationship to be. Ask the question: “If we could design it any way we wanted, how would we design our relationship?” Go forward from there, checking back to your vision often and adjusting as you go.

Does your marriage reflect any of these challenges? Which one challenge will you start to work on today?

How can you pass up this tip?

Almost one in five married couples go without kissing for as long as one week at a time, according to a British study. And when they do kiss, the kiss lasts no longer than five seconds for 40 percent of them.

Wow! What sad news!

YourTango agrees: We need more kissing in marriage!

[quote]How you could go an entire week without kissing your spouse is mind boggling. Granted, these results are based on the British population—the survey was sponsored by the British Heart Foundation—but how different are our countries when it comes to kissing, really? They are the nation that spawned us, after all.[/quote]

There are rays of hope, and models for the rest of us to follow, according to the research.

Five percent of those age 45 and up squeeze in more than 30 kisses per week, which averages out to just over four per day. So, not counting a presumed “good morning” and “good night” kiss, that leaves two others. Even younger couples age 18 to 24—not necessarily married—make some time for romance, with an average of 11 kisses per week, or less than two per day.

So, I’m sure you’re doing it. You’re comparing how you and your spouse rate against these statistics. What about, instead of worrying about that, just resolve to make sure you and your spouse kiss more, period? It may not sound romantic, but what about setting a goal for kissing in marriage? Can you add one kiss a day when the day starts? How about right before dinner?

This is one tip I hope you’ll put in place today. And please, stop back and share whether your own “kissing in marriage” statistics are rising. Now, go forth and kiss!

But marriage advice from the football field?

College football coach Joe Paterno was once asked about the impact of losses on his Penn State team. He said it was probably good for them, because they learned what they were doing wrong.

It’s like that in marriage, too. When something doesn’t seem to go right, or when something goes wrong — sometimes very wrong — we can always find a lesson in the trouble. It’s always there for those who look for it.

So, unlikely as it seems, Coach Paterno’s words about his football team hold marriage advice for the rest of us: When times of trouble come, as they always will, look there for the hidden lessons.

When something goes wrong, what lesson can you find in it to strengthen your marriage?

If you like this article, be sure to sign up for our newsletter to strengthen your marriage.

As a marriage counseling specialist, Mr. Neuman says that his work gave him motivation to write the book. Children of divorcees are also some of the people the author was able to assist. The author feels that the most effective help you can furnish to these children is to try to prevent divorce in the first place.

The book is focused on empowering women, the writer proclaims. It also tries to answer the subject: why do men cheat? The issue isn’t about sex as nearly all of the men Gary surveyed insist. Typically, the problem is unmet emotional needs. Most married couples are confronted with daily worries. The couples gradually become emotionally detached. For that reason, the couples cease to remember to show appreciation for their partners.

The author indicates that guys are emotional creatures too. They will often seemingly be very strong on the surface but they are very vulnerable inside. Husbands have a desire to feel appreciated constantly. Husbands will naturally seek out emotional gratification somewhere else if they can’t find it at home.

The notion that men love to win is a vital concept that women must understand. This idea is demonstrated when guys watch sports. Watching is only pleasurable for guys if their team is winning. They will likely power down the TV if their team is losing. Often, it can be hard for women to show their love for men who won’t do their part. But it may help men emotionally if they sense that they are winning when they do things for their spouses.

When men become unfaithful with their wives, they typically say that it’s really not about finding a more physically attractive woman. Men report that it’s usually about the perceived emotional gratification. Cheating can never be rationalized. If you are a woman and you want to save your relationship, attending to your husband’s emotional needs can help. Showing a bit of appreciation can go a long way in solving marriage problems. The astonishing thing is the fact that when we show appreciation, we also get the same thing in return. The more we praise our husbands and wives for the stuff that they do for us, the better the marriage becomes. Showing appreciation can be an effective first step in saving a marriage.

Making the partnership stronger should be the couple’s focus more than anything else. It isn’t about preventing divorce. It’s worth repeating that you ought to pay attention to making your marriage stronger.

It’s really a lot better to focus on the constructive rather than the undesirable. You must stop thinking about avoiding separation if you want to avoid separation and divorce. Rather than the negative (separation) you need to think about a happy marriage instead. It means a complete world of difference even if you’re in fact aiming for the very same thing. When you fight to win rather than not to lose, you are going to actually feel much better.

It’s something that men and women may not fully realize what they’re getting into when they marry, says Bill Coffin, who works with the National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education, as well as with Healthy Relationships California.
“When we get married, hardly any of us consider that one day we might not actually feel the same head-over-heels way we did on our wedding day,” Coffin says. “At that moment, it’s hard to imagine anything but butterflies and rose petals.”

For husbands and wives who want to have a faithful marriage, protecting that marriage means living out a daily commitment to fidelity. And that means choosing every day to put the marriage first.

You can choose to be faithful to your spouse, your vows and your commitment to the marriage or you can allow a seed of bitterness, resentment or unfaithfulness to be planted in the foundation of your relationship. Ask anyone who’s been party to an affair (whether physical or emotional) and inevitably they will admit it started out with something small—a little flirtation here, a minor sense of dissatisfaction there, a day-dream about Mr. or Miss so-and-so-at-work or the thought that the grass must be greener elsewhere.

Some will say, “Those are harmless thoughts/actions.” Or “I’m not hurting anyone.” But those are lies. Faithfulness is a choice you make every day. On the good days, it’s easy. But it’s those bad days where the decision really counts—whether it’s in the face of temptation, hurt feelings, anger, dissatisfaction or laziness.

Coffin provides excellent questions for every husband and wife who wants to maintain a faithful marriage.

A faithful marriage: Do you have these risk factors?

• Would you ever ride in a car or have a meal alone with someone of the opposite sex? Why or why not?
• Do you have any secrets from your spouse?
• Are there any conversations you’ve had that you’d be embarrassed or anxious about if you knew your spouse had been listening?
• Do you have an emotional connection with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse?

A faithful marriage: How do you respect your spouse and marriage?

• Do you talk about your spouse with the utmost respect, especially when he or she is not present?
• Do your actions communicate faithfulness towards your spouse and your marriage?
• Is your marriage a top priority in your life?
• If a neutral party examined how you spend your time, money and thoughts would your faithfulness to your spouse be obvious to them?
• How do you handle disappointment in your spouse/marriage?

How have you answered these questions? Do you have strong protections for a faithful marriage? What’s one step you can take today to strengthen the protections for your marriage?

A new study says husbands and wives can have commitment, longevity and a firey marriage, too. And their research points the way to keeping the excitement alive.

The study, by Stony Brook University, shows that a major percentage of couples stay intensely “in love” even after decades of marriage. In fact, the researchers found that of their sample of couples who had been married ten years or more, 46 percent of women and 49 percent of men report being “very intensely in love” with their partners.

So what did they learn? What predicts this intensity of feelings in couples?

Fanning the fires of love in marriage

1. Selective Thinking

 

Couples who choose to regularly focus their thoughts on their mate’s positive qualities, particularly in the absence of their mate, are more likely to experience high levels of intense romantic love in marriage. Studies have proven that thinking about our partner’s best traits leads us to vocalize that appreciation to our partner. Those simple appreciation statements go a long way to keeping romance alive.

 

2. Physical Affection (not just sex)

 

Sexual and non-sexual physical affection were evaluated separately in this study. For both men and women, regular hugging, kissing, and cuddling ranked high for greater romantic satisfaction. Sexual intercourse was indeed high on the list. But interestingly, 25 percent of couples who reported “very in love,” had not had sex in a month. More women associated frequent sex with intense love than men. Men equated non-sexual, physical affection with higher intensities of love. When relationship satisfaction was lower, the tendency to equate sex with love was higher.

 

3. Personal Happiness

 

Can a relationship lead to happiness? According to the study, long time married couples who remain “intensely in love,” do not expect happiness to come from their partner. Happiness, instead, is something they find within themselves as individuals. Whether you need a trip to the spa, or a night out with friends, taking responsibility for one’s own happiness seems to have dramatic affect on the romance.

Of these three keys, I suspect the third one may come as the greatest surprise to many. Placing one’s happiness in another’s hands doesn’t reflect the truth of how we find happiness. It places a tremendous and unrealistic burden on our husbands, and sets us up for disappointment. It’s no wonder that couples who report feelings of “intense love” know the truth, that happiness doesn’t rest in the hands of one’s spouse.

So there you have it. Three keys to keeping the fires of love in marriage alive for a lifetime. In which of these areas will your marriage most benefit from change?