Talk money with your spouse — and learn how to fix your relationship at the same time
Let’s face it. Money can be a source of stress even in the strongest marriages. So what’s the answer for how to fix your relationship when you have money troubles? Let’s look at some tips that you can use how you work through your money troubles and actually strengthen your marriage at the same time.
Start with the right approach. And that approach means that you and your spouse are in this together. Walter Updegrave of CNNMoney says:
(T)here’s nothing
more off-putting than having someone start a conversation by telling you you’re wrong but, not to worry, they’re going to set you straight. That’s a nonstarter.
Besides, it’s rare that one person has all the right answers, especially in areas that involve more than a bit of subjectivity, like personal finances. If you show you genuinely want to hear your (husband or) wife’s views about how to manage the family‘s resources, you’re more likely to come to a solution you both can live with, and get to that point with less stress.
Agree on some goals.
In this step, you and your spouse will build a common ground and unity from which you can build your financial — and life — plans.
I’m not just talking about saving for retirement and your kids’ education, although they should certainly be topics of discussion. I’m talking about all sorts of different goals one has in life: having a nice home, enjoying family time, indulging oneself with treats occasionally, new clothes, a dinner out, a nice vacation. Some of these goals are immediate, some a little farther down the line, others very long term.
Ultimately, though, you and your wife need to agree on the type of lifestyle you can afford to lead today while still making provisions for future obligations….
The key is for you and your wife to find a way to balance these different goals. If you sit down together and write them all down, it will become clear that you can’t do them all at once. You may have to compromise on some. But that’s the point, you will arrive at a compromise together rather than have one person arbitrarily impose a decision on the other.
Make a plan.
It goes without saying, you’ll want to make this plan together.
Once you’re both on the same page about at least some of the financial goals you want to achieve, follow up with action. One step would be to work up a conventional budget that incorporates the various goals you’ve decided on so you can track whether you’re making progress toward them. Or you could take the “bucket budget” approach, which many people feel is simpler and more effective in part because it easily combines budgeting and saving.
You may also want to look into other ways to assure that you actually save toward your goals. For example, Stickk.com helps you create what’s known as a “commitment device” to meet various goals. Or you might find it easier to target certain areas that allow you to free up the most money that you can divert toward savings.
The point, though, is to make sure you follow up any discussion with a plan that you can monitor. Otherwise, all the talking and compromise may be for naught.
Dealing with money often rises to the top of stresses husbands and wives have to deal with, with money touching on so many deeper desires and fears that you and your spouse have. But by taking an approach of building unity, you can learn how to fix your relationship and deal with your money problems at the same time.
Click here to visit the original source of this post
Like this article? Subscribe to Marriage Love Builders.